Drive You Wild

These days it’s hard not to encounter scooter-mounted celebrities sporting obigatory anoraks, open-face helmets and wide grins. Jamie Oliver and the Gallagher boys cut a dash about town on their Vespas, so too does Patrick Cox with his Wannabee customised snakeskin models. XX even has a gold-plated special. I wonder who’ll be first with a diamond-studded Lambretta, Diesel StyleLab sports or a Gucci Titanium two-stroke.

‘Step-thrus’, as their called in the trade, are both efficient, a la mode and on the road. Luckily you can expect to pay around £2,500 for a new model that will give up to 100 miles between refills, and a full tank of petrol costs less than a fiver. This is just as well because Italian legends Vespa, Lambretta, and Grand Prix winning newcomer Aprilia, offer the best in branded accessories and leisure clothing that can be worn with impunity.

Scooters are much lighter and more agile than ‘proper’ motorbikes. They’re inexpensive to buy, run and insure. You won’t need a car parking space to own one because they can be kept indoors: most are beautiful enough to make a pleasing addition to your hallway, kitchen or livingroom, but do ask your Mother first.

You can ride anything under 125cc or 33bhp if you have a car license, undertake Compulsory Basic Training and display ‘L’ plates. You must wear a helmet and you’d be mad not to wear gloves, not least because Dainesse race gloves are to die for. But if you want your partner to go pillion you’ll have to sit your full motorcycle test—better to buy a matched pair of scoots and enjoy B road runs or country picnics.

Not only do scooters beat bikes in town, they allow you to arrive at meetings looking like a civilian rather than an extraterrestrial. There’s enough underseat space to stash a helmet, gloves and waterproof suit (not that you’ll need one as the there’s lots of wet-leg protection from the front faring. As Sir Terence will testify it’s easy to fit luggage racks and hooks. He should know because he’s carried furniture on the back of his Vespa!

Scooters first became sexy when Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn rode a Vespa in Roman Holiday. You too can get the look by joining 200,000 others and buying the latest generation of Piaggio’s Vespa ET2 50cc and 125cc two-strokers or ET4 125cc four-stroke model, first launched 53 years ago. If you’d like something bigger try their PX which comes in 125cc and 200cc. But make sure you get a copy of Vespa Vintage Catalogue of exclusive or rare spares and accessories which will make your scooter distinct from the 16 millon other little legends produced by this evergreen marque. Alternatively you can buy one of the many retro models produced by Italian or Japanese companies. Aprilia’a Habana Custom offers a US inspired alternative to the Italian tradition.

Even committed bikers grudgingly admit that scooters have some advantages over motorcycles. Many bikers also own scooters therefore it’s not unusual to the two groups to exchange a nod or wave rather than punches on Brighton Beach. If you’re sympathetic to the sportsbike aesthetic or simply prefer something more modern you need look no further than the Grand Prix paddock.

The ultimate accessory for every Superbike, Grand Prix and F1 racer is the scooter he uses to nip between luxury motorhome, pit lane and paddock. Renault, Aprilia, Honda and Yamaha all produce scooters with gorgeous race replica fuselage, motorcyle spec brakes and unbelievable suspension. This year’s most coveted model is Aprilia’s DI Tech which comes in 50cc and 125cc models. This scooter features innovate direct injection two-stroke technology that’s bred for the track and has super-low emissions. It’s ripping performance, maintenance and reliability promise to be a generation ahead of the competition.

It does seem that scooters, as with food, wine and furniture and clothing, are the latest in a long list of Continental imports to the UK. While they’ve obviously saved the best ’til last, I just can’t help but wonder who’ll be first with a diamond-studded DITECH or a Paul Smith two-stoke stripy scooter.